Finding It Hard to Concentrate

Has anyone else had a hard time concentrating since March 16th? I find it hard to concentrate on anything for more than maybe five to ten minutes. If I stay focused for a full ten minutes, I'm doing a great job. It is the craziest feeling. Actually, it is an uncomfortable feeling. Thank God I've had a series of guest bloggers or there would not have been a blog from me since March 29th. For me, since the middle of March, completing a task has been monumental. Writing this one paragraph has taken me about thirty minutes.

In the thirty minutes since starting this blog, I have stopped writing (blogging) to watch a little bit of Newcastle vs West Ham. I have it on but muted. The noise from the TV doesn't bother me. Listening to announcers state the obvious is annoying. I usually watch sporting events on mute. I have also made a bowl of fruit salad for breakfast. And, I counted the number of books I have on my nightstand I have started reading but have given up on. Someday, I'll finish those books. Just don't know when.

It is the strangest thing, I have started reading those six books but cannot concentrate long enough to even comprehend what I'm reading. Many times, I have to read the same paragraph two or three times just for comprehension purposes. It is frustrating. I love to read. Since March 16th, reading hasn't been much fun.

I do not know why this is happening. Just during this past Christmas break, I read five books. There was no problem with concentrating. And, there was no problem taking a break from work for mental and physical health purposes. We need those breaks. Right now, it is as if our brains aren't turning off. There is no mental health break. Maybe we can turn off our brains for a day trip to the lake. But, that's just one day. A weekend away from work hasn't happened since the middle of March.

I have to think through the situation to try to figure out the sudden changes. Don't think I'm suffering from Alzheimer's or some form of depression. Why has someone who loves to read and is constantly reading all of a sudden lost that desire to read? Why has someone who really enjoys going to work everyday had such a hard time concentrating? Why has someone who looks forward to the next challenge all of a sudden, having difficulty finishing a project before moving on to the next? This can be a little disconcerting. Actually, it is very disconcerting.

The way I see it, we have gone from a normal mode to a firefighter mode. Since March 16th, we have been putting out fires not on a daily basis but on an hourly basis. So many fires have been popping up that we cannot even finish putting out one fire when we have to start fighting another. The more fires you have to fight, the less of you there is to fight those fires. Don't feel as if I'm giving less of myself to fighting the fires. There are just too many fires to fight at one time.

One week the CDC and the health department tell us this is what needs to happen. The next week, the directives change. The next day, the politicians make everything a political battle and forget it is about the people and not political affiliation. In turn, we have no idea what needs to be done. Thank God the Catholic Schools have the task force to help guide us.

The way most of us work, we have short-term and long-term goals. Those long-term goals are usually part of a five-year plan. For now, the five-year plans have pretty much been set ablaze by the short-term goals. The longest short-term goal we are working on is getting ready for August 11th. That's the day we are scheduled to begin the 2020-21 school year.

We are working on a day-to-day basis. Work is tough. The situations we are facing are tough. Families are struggling. Children need to have a normal and healthy routine. Right now, a healthy routine is different for everybody. Some parents are scared to death about schools starting up. Some parents cannot wait for schools to get started. We all have tough decisions to make with super-mixed information coming our way. We hear this. We read that. This person advises this. That person advises that. Everyone's an expert yet no one knows anything.

The way I look at it, times have been tougher. Situations have been more severe. I'm going to keep putting out fires the best I can. I'm going to make the best decisions I can to educate my students while doing my best to keep them and the St. Ann staff as safe as possible. My job is to provide students and families with a Catholic Education. Along with a team of experts (Diocesan Transition Task Force), fellow Catholic School administrators, incredible staff members at St. Ann, and lots of prayer, we are working on the short-term goal of the first day of school. We are getting closer to seeing what that will look like. Yet, on the constant changing stream of information, the picture is still very blurry. It will become clear. We just have to remain patient and continue working hard to achieve the best possible outcome for everyone involved.

For now, I'm not going to worry too much about my inability to concentrate on reading a paragraph from a book I'm wanting to read. But, I will be more compassionate when one of my students has a hard time concentrating on a paragraph they are supposed to read. If anything, I have learned something through all of this.

God bless you,
Didier Aur, Principal
St. Ann Catholic School