Embrace the Drama

Middle school, the grades of self-discovery where drama becomes a much unwanted yet necessary part in the transition from elementary to high school. These are the days when students are learning how to deal with the good and bad we all face in day to day life. These are the days when parents are starting to let go a little bit in allowing their children some choices in developing their decision making process. Everyone needs to learn how to make their own decisions in how to handle life. We all need to learn how to deal with life, and middle school is a great place to start.

On last year's 8th grade trip to Washington D.C., Stacey Griffith and I just happened to have lunch at the same table as a retired middle school principal. We discussed middle school drama. The retired principal said we need to learn to embrace the drama. It is an important part of the middle school education process. Even though we think the drama is silly, she explained the drama and the issues surrounding the drama are real to the middle schoolers. Though the issues aren't that important to us, they are a huge part of of their lives especially the social-emotional aspects of who they are.

The manifestation of drama is caused by insecurities in the development process. Drama is a coping mechanism for the middle schooler. There are a lot of insecurities at this age. Who are my friends? How do I look? Am I good enough? Does he/she like me? Is he/she making fun of me? This is a time of sexual attraction. Many of the middle schoolers are starting puberty. Their hormones are changing. Even though they are quite a ways from becoming adults, this is the beginning of the changes. The changes are both physical and mental. The changes they go through can be intense and sometimes confusing. Welcome to adolescents. 

So, what's the best thing we can do? Embrace the drama! Know the drama is real! If we don't deal with it and teach our students how to deal with the drama, they won't know how to deal with the drama and it will be a perpetuating deal for the rest of their lives. If you think I'm kidding, look at all the adults around us who constantly perpetuate drama, and have a soul-sucking affect on those around them like the Dementors in Harry Potter. They take every opportunity to teardown what others have worked hard to build up. Best to deal with the drama early instead of ignoring it.

The drama usually starts in 7th grade (operative word here is "usually"). It is more visible with girls but don't kid yourself, it is pretty equal among the genders. The boys are usually more able to internalize the drama. I'm not sure that's a good thing. They all need to learn how to deal with the drama.

The students who are self-assured are the ones who are the most capable of dealing with the drama. If they know who they themselves are and have good self-esteem, they are more likely to handle the drama and the rumors that come with it. If they are confused about who they are and have low-self esteem, these are the students who are most likely to be affected by the drama and rumors that go along with the drama.

How do we deal with middle school drama? I have an open door policy with my students. The students know they can come in and talk when needed. And, they do. I take what they have to say seriously. I also know what they have to tell me is only part of the truth. The other part of the truth lies with the other student or group of students. They many times travel in packs. I bring everyone together and allow them the opportunity to speak their mind in a controlled environment. I don't keep secrets from parents. If I need to speak with parents about what's going on, I do so. I do my best to help the students find a solution and cope with the drama. I also meet with the classes when needed. We have to teach them how to act, behave, and be in a Christian manner. Who best to use as a model than Jesus and the Gospels.

My suggestion to parents, listen to your children. Don't just hear them, listen to them. They need for you to listen to what they have to say. You won't have all the answers. It doesn't matter. They will need some guidance on how to solve their problems. They are smarter than we think but don't forget their brains aren't fully formed until the age of twenty-five. I think that's part of God's sense of humor. Also remember there's another side to every story. Don't jump to conclusions. Think through the drama.

If you are one of the adults who has to deal with drama, listen to Fr. Ben Bradshaw's homily on dealing with difficult people. If you are that difficult person everyone has to deal with, for everyone's sake, please listen to his homily. Just CLICK HERE to listen.

I look forward to seeing my middle schoolers tomorrow. They are wonderful with plenty of surprises. Never know what the day will bring. Have a great week.

St. Ann...Pray for us!

God bless you,
Didier Aur, Principal
St. Ann Catholic School

Previous Blog:
https://didieraur.blogspot.com/2020/02/let-your-light-shine-before-others.html